A couple of you have heard this before, but my number one complaint about GWB since he became President is his stupefying inability to pronounce the word nuclear. He pronounces it like an old man drinking coffee at a West Texas Dairy Queen — nu-cu-lar. As in, “Everybody says they tore that cold wall down, but I know those damn Russians are gonna shoot some nu-cu-lar bombs at us one of these days. I hear they got one ah them nu-cu-lar bombs pointed right at Odessa.”

I’m sure George has been handicapped in this way since before he became leader of the free world, but nukes just didn’t come up that much when he was running my home state of Texas. Nonetheless, at some point, you’d think someone would tip him off to the proper pronunciationn of a word that tends to pop up now and then when you’re Commander in Chief of the military with more nukes than most of the rest of the world put together. Honestly, I’m not that shocked that he has trouble with certain words, but he’s done this at virtually every platform possible, including each State of the Union address and a recent speech at the National Defense University. It’s utterly incomprehensible to me that his experienced staff has either been unable to convince him to change or failed to summon the guts to correct him.

After almost four years of this torture, Dave has finally come to the rescue. Always a friend to bumbling Presidents and other celebrities, he introduced a new segment this week called It’s pronounced Nu-Klee-ur. Naturally, they splice together thirty-three video clips of W doing his DQ bit. It’s greatness, and terribly sad. If he doesn’t get this right soon, I may vote for Kerry or Sharpton or Stallone.