I knew I was right about not watching the news. Tonight was one of those rare occasions when we did watch the news — the local news at that. (Well, I watched and Amy fell asleep by 11:15.) So here’s what being a grown up taught me tonight:

• Here in the area, elderly folks should watch out for people pretending to be nice but looking to rip you off. We bring you this warning because several people have reported two guys going door-to-door offering to wash cars for free. In one case they were wearing work clothes, and another time they had on Santa hats. They haven’t ripped anyone off yet, but police say you should beware (and yeah, the anchor really said “ripped off.”) Translation: It don’t pay to be nice. Two guys have, by all accounts, gone around washing old people’s cars for free, and tonight they were described in the opening segment of the local news as grifters. Nice.

• An Ohio man (and this is definitely local news since Ohio is only about 400 miles from here) found out that you shouldn’t change clothes while you drive a semi down the interstate. Reportedly, a guy put his rig on cruise control while he changed clothes, missed a curve, and rolled the rig. A woman who stopped to help said she found him stark naked, trapped inside the cab. Translation: Perverts have bad luck too. I’m just glad I never rolled my car while refilling Mountain Dew bottles on the 8 hour drive between College Station and Crane.

So anyway, that’s one of the grown up activities I’m not bumping up on my list of priorities.