One should be careful what

One should be careful what one says about something like war, even (especially?) amongst friends and kin, lest one find oneself in the midst of a Hitchcock film. Birds everywhere…hawks, doves swooping in from all directions.

Cover your faces! Cover your eyes!

Are the birds gonna eat us, Mommy?

Perhaps one should just pick a side so as to avoid the beaks of one or the other, but which side?

I would hardly think that either species would have sufficient intelligence to launch a massed attack. Their brain pans are not big enough…Birds are not aggressive creatures, Miss. They bring beauty into the world. It is mankind, rather…who insists upon making it difficult for life to exist on this planet. Now if it were not for birds…

With self-preservation the motive, you’d think one would try to appease the hawks, but one shouldn’t underestimate the tenacity or nationalism of the doves (they’re pretty passionate about their dovedom).

I think we’re in real trouble. I don’t know how this started or why, but I know it’s here and we’d be crazy to ignore it…The bird war, the bird attack, plague – call it what you like. They’re amassing out there someplace and they’ll be back. You can count on it…

It’s the end of the world!